Take These Broken Wings
by DarkDreamer56
Summary: When the unthinkable happens, how do you move on? NS Friendship
1. Chapter 1

Title: Take These Broken Wings  
Author: DarkDreamer56  
Archive: If you want it, ask please!  
Rating: T  
Pairing: N/S friendship, maybe romance later on…  
Disclaimer: Last time I checked, my coworkers and I didn't win the Mega Million (there goes five bucks…), so there goes my chance to buy the rights to CSI…  
Spoilers: nothing too specific, probably up to Grave Danger. That may change as the season, and this story, progress.

A/N: This is definitely darker than my usual stories, and I'm going to do my best to stay true to the subject matter. It's rated T for now, but that rating may go up later. Takes place sometime post Season 5/early Season 6. Nick has already returned to work. Be patient, I have this story mostly mapped out, but it still may be a little while between chapters. I've got the first three chapters written, but after that, they will probably be posted as they are finished, so I won't make any promises, update wise. Enjoy, and let me know what you think in a review!

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"Nice of you to join us, Grissom," Catherine announced sarcastically from her place at the break room table. Shift had started nearly ten minutes prior, but with no appearance from their supervisor, the team had to find ways to amuse themselves. Nick had chosen to rest his head across his arms, promptly falling asleep until Greg nudged him in the side when Grissom finally entered the room. 

"Okay, we've got a full night folks," Grissom announced, ignoring Catherine's comment as he looked around the room. "Where's Sara?" he asked suddenly.

"Night off, some hot date," Greg announced, sulking a little bit. Nick could relate, the news that Sara was out with some guy wasn't exactly joyful to him either, as much as he didn't want to admit it.

"Gil, don't you dare…" Catherine warned as Grissom pulled out his cell. "She hasn't had a day off in two weeks, we can get by without her for one night. She's allowed to have a life now and then, we all are…" Nick was surprised that Catherine stood up for Sara like that, but he supposed it was more frustration at her own personal life being interrupted by work more times than she could count.

Despite the fact that three of the four men present in the room wished Sara wasn't out having a life with another man, Catherine prevailed and Grissom put his phone away and handed out assignments.

"Greg, Warrick, you've got a hit and run at Lancaster and Tropicana. Brass is waiting for you. Catherine, Nick, we've got suspicious circs in Henderson."

Catherine reached for the slip of paper, glanced at it, and announced that she would meet them there. After grabbing their kits, Nick and Grissom headed out to Nick's Denali. Nick slid into the driver's seat and drove towards Henderson. The ride was mostly silent, punctuated only by the voices floating out from the local talk radio station. Nick didn't feel much like talking, he was hoping to get through the shift, trying not to dwell too much on the fact that Sara was out on a date while he had been trying to work up the nerve to ask her on one for weeks. Grissom, as usual, didn't have much to say on the drive, so Nick was left with his thoughts until they reached Henderson.

As they reached the scene, Nick navigated the car into a makeshift parking spot, and by the time he had grabbed his kit, Grissom was already talking to the detective on the scene. Nick made his way over to the two quickly, wanting to get this shift over with and get home for some sleep.

"Mike Reynolds," the detective introduced himself, offering his hand to Nick as he took his place beside Grissom.

"Nick Stokes. Coroner here yet?" Nick queried.

"Not yet. One of your team…Catherine? She's in with the woman now. Body hasn't been touched since the paramedics pronounced. The woman seemed pretty shaken up, couldn't get much out of her…"

"What woman?" Nick interrupted; Grissom hadn't said anything about another vic. Maybe they would have to call in Sara after all. While he felt a modicum of shame for feeling happy about that, it was overridden by the thought that he might actually get to see her that night after all.

"The girlfriend. When the CSI arrived, she pretty much shooed us out, possible assault. First glance…looks like it may have been a domestic dispute, and he hit his head during the struggle. House is owned by a Vincent Trelling, and the woman confirmed that he's the vic. But like I said, we didn't get much out of her yet."

So much for Sara getting called in. Nick supposed he could just suck it up and give her a call after shift, maybe she would want to grab dinner before work. He supposed that would have to do until he got up the nerve to ask her out properly.

Reynolds was a slightly smaller, younger version of Detective O'Reilly, with graying hair and a receding hairline. He walked Grissom and Nick up to the doorway and pointed them in the direction of the bedroom, before heading back towards the officers outside.

Nick and Grissom quickly made their way down the hallways, towards where Detective Reynolds had told them was the bedroom. As they reached the doorway, Nick noticed Catherine standing next to the girlfriend, who was sitting on the bed, head in her hands. He motioned to Grissom to stop, realizing that it might be better to announce their presence before just walking in. Grissom must have realized the same thing, as he knocked lightly on the doorframe.

Catherine glanced up at the two with wide eyes. The girlfriend lifted her head to see who the intruders were, and Nick felt as if he'd been punched in the gut as he came to two immediate realizations. The first was that the girl on the bed was Sara; the second was that Vincent Trelling lay at her feet, blood pooling around his head.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: see previous chapter

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"You two, out of here now," Catherine hissed, but both Nick and Grissom stood rooted to their spots, unable to process Catherine's command.

Once Sara had seen who had walked in, she buried her head in her hands again, but Nick had still gotten a good look at her. He cursed his CSI training as his mind automatically catalogued her appearance. Her dress was rumpled and torn, one strap falling half way down her arm and exposing the top of her bra. Her hair was mussed and falling across her face as she bent her head back into her hands, but Nick couldn't help but notice the cut on her forehead and ugly purple bruise already apparent on her cheek. And he was certain he had spotted faint bruising around her neck.

"Now!" Catherine commanded again, and this time Nick was able to shake himself out of his reverie long enough to obey. When he noticed Grissom still standing, staring in the direction of Sara, Nick gently pulled him into the hallway after him.

They exchanged silent looks of concern and anger while they waited for Catherine to come and explain the situation. Inside, Nick was seething, all of the different scenarios of what that bastard had done to Sara to make the situation escalate to this. He was quickly working himself up into a frenzy, and was only brought back to reality when he heard movement at the door. Catherine was guiding Sara out of the room, past Grissom and Nick and towards the living room. Sara was limping slightly, and kept her head down as she walked past. Nick turned to say something, but was silenced by a withering look from Catherine, who settled Sara on the couch before returning to her coworkers.

"What the hell happened Cath," Grissom asked quietly, breaking the eerie silence in the hallway.

"She was on a date, they came back here. Things got…out of hand, she tried to stop it, and he wasn't as accommodating…"

Nick's jaw clenched. "Spit it out Cath."

Catherine sighed. "Fine. He attacked her, she fought him, tried to push him off of her, and when she did, he hit his head on the night table next to the bed. She called 911, and now we're here." Catherine paused for a moment. "She hasn't said how far it went, so I don't know if she was raped, but we need to get her to Desert Palm and have a SART exam done," she added, anticipating their next questions. "Gil, I need you to call Warrick and have him get over here, I'm going to need some help. You need to go and help Greg, and Nick, I need you to take her to the hospital."

"No," Grissom added, raising his voice for the first time that night. Catherine placed her hand on his arm.

"Gil, I know. But, it's Sara. You can't work this case, you know that. Go help Greg. She doesn't need all of us sitting around at the hospital. And," she added, turning to Nick, "you're taking her to the hospital, and then you're hands off too."

"Catherine," Nick started, trying to keep his voice down as he glanced at Sara out of the corner of his eye. She was sitting on the couch, blankly staring into space. There was no way he was handing this off to Warrick.

"Nick…she's gonna need someone tonight. We need you to take care of her, okay? You two are too emotionally involved, as soon as Ecklie finds out about this, there is no way he's going to let you two stay on; it'll be hard enough to convince him that Warrick and I will be professional about this." She lowered her voice slightly, but Nick didn't think it would matter; it appeared that Sara had tuned this reality out entirely. "You can't compromise evidence. This…this could get bad, don't make it worse for her. Now go."

Nick and Grissom finally nodded numbly in assent.

Catherine sighed and ran a hand through her hair in frustration. When she realized that Grissom was still in shock, she pulled out her phone and quickly dialed Warrick's phone. Nick listened to her quietly explain the situation to Warrick before he realized that it would be best to get Sara out of there and to the hospital before anyone got wind of what had happened. He could only imagine what Ecklie was going to do with the information.

"Uh, Gris?" Nick asked tentatively, "After…do I? I mean…does she have to go down to the station, or can I take her home?"

Grissom removed his glasses, pinching the sides of his nose and sighing. His voice was even when he spoke, but his eyes betrayed the anger he was feeling; Nick knew it was the same anger in his own eyes.

"I'll tell Catherine to send Detective Reynolds over to the hospital. I don't imagine that there will be much reason to hold her…take care of her Nick."

Nick nodded, tears stinging his eyes as he turned towards the living room. He took a deep breath; now was not the time to fall apart. While he did not envy Warrick, having to work the case with Catherine, Nick knew that he was going to have the tougher job, even though it was one that he wasn't going to give up.

Sara was still sitting on the couch, arms wrapped around herself protectively. Her eyes were blank, staring at the wall across the room. Nick knelt down next to her, not wanting to startle her.

"Sara," he started softly, "I'm going to take you to the hospital, okay?"

She made no indication that she had heard him, so he called her name again softly. It wasn't until he placed a hand on her arm that he got a reaction, when she flinched and turned towards him. The fear in her eyes was evident, though it subsided a little when she saw that it was Nick. He cursed inwardly for scaring her, removing his hand as quickly as he had placed it.

"Can you walk to the car?" he asked, trying to ignore the bruising that was much more prominent up close.

Her blank stare had faded, giving way to tears lightly falling from her eyes. "I…I didn't mean to…I never wanted to turn into her…"

Nick could feel his heart breaking as confusion swept over him. He had no idea what she was talking about, he thought that she must be going into shock. "Sweetheart, we're gonna go get you checked out now."

Sara nodded numbly. Nick stood up and then offered his hand to help her up off of the couch. He tried to wrap an arm around her, but she stepped away.

"There's evidence…" she explained quietly with sad eyes, before heading toward the door as quickly as she could on her ankle. Nick followed behind, praying that he would be able to get her through the night.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: see first chapter

A/N: Thanks so much to everyone that has reviewed so far! This fic is definitely much different than what I usually write, and since there is more focus on the legal/forensic stuff than is custom in my stories (I'm all about character interaction :) ), I'm trying my best to be accurate, but if something is glaringly wrong, let me know and I'll try to fix it.

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Nick sat not so patiently in the waiting room, waiting for the nurse to return from performing the SART exam. He hadn't wanted to leave Sara alone in the exam room, but he knew that it would have been worse for her with him there.

She hadn't said much of anything in the car, and Nick didn't want to press her for anything that she wasn't ready for. He had been able to operate on autopilot, driving back to Vegas and checking her into the Emergency Department at Desert Palm, but now that he was left with his own thoughts, Nick could feel his anger returning. The idea that someone had hurt Sara left him seething. He had no idea what had happened in that house, but he knew that Catherine had been right; this situation had the potential to get very ugly very fast. The investigation into Kristy Hopkins's murder had taught him that. And he wasn't sure what kind of shape she was going to be in emotionally once she left the hospital.

Nick made a vow then and there that he was going to get her through this, no matter what. There was no doubt in his mind, that whatever had happened had been provoked, and had been accidental. Sara would never willingly take a life.

"Mr. Stokes?" Nick heard his name being called, and he turned his attention to the nurse in front of him. "You can go back in now." He jumped from his seat and quickly followed the nurse to the exam room in the back of the Emergency Department.

Sara was sitting up in the bed, covered by a hospital gown and a thin blanket. Her head was down, staring at the hands lying limply in her lap. Nick knocked softly on the door, only entering when Sara's eyes darted up.

He eased himself into the chair next to her bed, waiting a moment before reaching out and gently grasping one of her hands in his. She looked frightened for a moment, but quickly relaxed. Nick rubbed gentle circles across her knuckles, watching her fidget with the edge of the blanket.

"Sara…I'm so sorry," he whispered. She nodded, her glassy eyes leaking a few tears down her cheeks as she returned her gaze to her lap, concentrating on Nick's hand entwined with hers. "Detective Reynolds should be here soon, and then I can take you home."

Nick squeezed her hand gently, continuing to rub circles over her knuckles. He took the opportunity to study her, as her attention was directed towards her lap. She definitely had the makings of a black eye, and some more bruising around her cheek. The cut on her forehead had been cleaned out and covered, but Nick could assume by the size of the bandage that it was pretty big. He couldn't help but feel sickened as he noticed the bruises forming distinctly on her neck.

What worried him the most, however, was the blank stare. Nick had known Sara for several years; he thought he had gotten to know her fairly well. One thing that could always be said about Sara was that she was passionate. She was incapable of hiding the emotion in her eyes, but for the first time, Nick could see nothing but numbness. Fear, or even anger, Nick would have been able to work with; but the blank look in her eyes gave him nothing.

A quiet knock on the door brought Nick from his thoughts and directed his attention to the doorway. Detective Reynolds was standing there with a somber expression on his face as he regarded the scene in front of him.

"Sar, I'm just gonna go talk to Detective Reynolds for a second…is that okay?" When he didn't get a response the first time, he repeated his question again softly, squeezing her hand again. This time she nodded, but Nick noted with a tug at his heart, that she wouldn't quite let go of his hand when he gently tried to untangle them. "I'll be right back, I promise."

Nick closed the door behind him, finding Reynolds leaning against the wall across the hallway.

"I'm sorry…I didn't know that she was one of you guys…"

Nick leaned up against the wall next to Reynolds, rubbing his hand over his head. "It's okay, I'm sure Catherine took control pretty quick."

"Yeah, that should have told me something was up…she was there thirty seconds before she hauled every male officer out of there. I don't think any of the other guys even got a good look at who it was."

"That's probably a good thing…the fewer people that are involved in this, the better." Nick sighed before his next question. "Where're we at?"

"Well…looks like it was self defense, but without results from the SART exam…the sheriff is going to scrutinize this case, every single detail. All I could get was that he's lived at that residence about ten months, the neighbors didn't hear a thing, and that it seems that Mr. Trelling was quite popular with the ladies…seemed he had a different girlfriend every couple weeks."

Nick prayed that Dr. Robbins and Catherine would find out more than that. "The kit should be ready to be picked up, I should call Catherine."

"When I left, she was packing up…I think she was heading here after she dropped the evidence back at the lab." Reynolds paused before his next question, the look on his face not quite readable to Nick. "Was she sexually assaulted?"

Nick sighed. "She hasn't told me, and honestly, I haven't been able to ask her yet…but I think so. Something happened."

Detective Reynolds shoved one hand into his pocket, looking up at Nick briefly. "What makes you say that?"

"I know her…it's like something inside broke, she's just shut off, and that's not her." Nick didn't expect Reynolds to understand his reasoning, Sara was a complex person on her best days; he had seen her act out, go off on suspects, even her friends, but he had never seen her just shut down.

"What do you say we get this over with?" Reynolds asked nervously. Nick could sense that this was a situation that the detective would rather not be in; Nick could relate.

Nick rapped lightly on the door before opening. He heard Sara call softly, "Come in," before he and Detective Reynolds crossed the threshold.

"Sara, this is Detective Reynolds, he just needs to ask you a few questions about…what happened."

"We met earlier," Sara reminded him softly, toying with the edge of her blanket again. "Nick…could you, I mean…would you wait outside?"

Nick was nearly certain he had been able to keep the hurt expression off of his face long enough to nod and exit the room. Not that Sara would have seen it, with the way that she refused to meet his eyes. Nick made his way back to the waiting room, where Catherine found him sitting fifteen minutes later.

"How's she doing?" Catherine asked, placing a hand on Nick's shoulder and bringing him out of the race of thoughts that were running through his mind.

"I think she's okay, physically at least. I haven't spent much time with her since they took her back." Nick gestured half heartedly towards her room.

"They finish the kit yet?"

"Yeah, Reynolds is in with her now. She, uh, she didn't want me in there."

Catherine settled in next to Nick, rubbing his arm. "Nicky, don't take it personally." Her next question stunned him. "You ever thought about sleeping with her?"

Nick's jaw dropped. "Catherine, I hardly think that's an appropriate question right now…"

"Nicky, answer the question."

He sighed. "The thought has crossed my mind once or twice," he admitted in frustration.

Catherine's voice was gentle as she continued. "That's why you can't be in there right now…you have to realize what an awkward situation this is for her, to have all of her coworkers getting this personal information about her, especially male coworkers. Even ones she's close to. You, Grissom, Greg, Warrick…all of you are close to her, but there's just some stuff she's not going to be able to talk about. We need to let her have some control for now…when she's ready, she knows that you'll be there to listen."

Nick nodded, hoping that Catherine was right; he didn't want to make Sara uncomfortable, but he hoped that she knew that he would be there for her, no matter what.

"So, uh, what did you find at the house?" Nick asked, trying to change the subject.

"Nick, I can't…" Catherine started, but she relented when she saw the look on Nick's face. "Fine," she sighed, "I found some blood and epithelials, probably scalp skin, on the edge of the nightstand, which supports what Sara told me. I noted some fresh abrasions on his knuckles before the coroner took the body, probably from him hitting her. And some scratches on his face." Nick's jaw clenched as Catherine continued. "There was a condom wrapper on the nightstand, and I didn't find one in the trash, so unless he flushed it, it's still on him."

"If he flushed it," Nick answered wearily, "then she would have had the chance to get away."

"Which is why I think it's still on him. I'm hoping that means that he didn't finish whatever he intended…"

"She was still assaulted…doesn't quite matter if he didn't getthe chance to finish," Nick told her quietly, fighting with every word to keep his emotions under control.

Catherine's eyes widened, and she paused for a moment, as if she was deciding whether or not she should share the next piece of information. "I…I found her underwear on the floor, the other side of the bed." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Nick wished he had never heard them.

Nick dropped his head to his lap, cradling his forehead in both hands. It was just too much to hear at once. Catherine rubbed his back comfortingly.

"Nicky, are you okay to do this?" she asked quietly. "At the scene, I couldn't ask Grissom…they have too much history, and she needed someone she trusts, someone capable of taking care of her…but if you're not up to this…"

"I'm not leaving her," Nick responded, perhaps a little more forcefully than he intended.

"Okay." Catherine accepted his answer. "I grabbed a change of clothes from her locker, I'm going to go find the nurse and get the kit. Call when you get her settled at home? Or if you need us for anything?"

Nick nodded as he felt Catherine stand up beside him. He lifted his head to watch her walk away, hoping that he would be able to take her home sooner, rather than later.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: see first chapter

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Nearly a half hour later, Detective Reynolds came out to find Nick in the waiting room, anxiously running his palms back and forth over his thighs.

"I'm finished talking to her for now, so I guess you can go back in," Reynolds announced awkwardly. "Have you spoken to Willows at all?"

"Yeah, she came to pick up the kit about a half hour ago." Nick stood up, anxious to get back to Sara and see how she was doing.

"Well, I'm sure Ms. Sidle wants to get out of here soon…"

"Can I take her home?" Nick paused, an unspoken question lying between the two men, and Nick was grateful for Reynolds's prompt answer.

"She's free to go for now. I've spoken with her, and as long as the autopsy and the sexual assault kit don't contradict it, I'm ruling this one as accidental. If I need anything else from her, I'll contact her at home…does she have someone who can stay with her? She still seems pretty shaken up."

"I've got that covered…thank you," Nick told him, a bit hoarsely, hearing the first piece of good news all night.

"No thanks needed. If I thought that this went down any way other than what she told me, I wouldn't hesitate to bring her in, CSI or not," Reynolds replied matter-of-factly. "But so far, all the evidence points to this being a case of her trying to fend off an attacker."

Nick picked up the bag of clothes that Catherine had dropped off and stood up. "I'm going to go check on her."

Reynolds headed towards the exit as Nick walked quickly down the hallway to Sara's room. He knocked lightly on the door again, but after receiving no response, he opened the door fractionally, hoping that he wouldn't be walking in on an examination or anything else embarrassing. What he found was Sara lying on her side, facing away from the door.

"Sara," he called softly, not wanting to scare her again.

"Yeah?" she whispered, the wobble in her voice betraying the fact that she had been crying.

Nick walked around the bed, sitting in the chair opposite the door so that he could see her face. Her eyes were red rimmed and her cheeks tearstained. She was curled into herself, and as Nick sat down, she closed her eyes and sniffled.

"Catherine dropped off some clothes for you to change into. As soon as the doctor gives the word, I'm gonna take you home, alright?"

"Yeah," she whispered again, wiping at her face before sniffling one more time. As she lay in the bed, looking so lost, Nick wondered for the first time that night, whether or not he would be able to help her. As it was now, he had no idea what to do to even begin to reach out to her in a way that wouldn't make it worse. He wanted very badly to pull her into a hug, but instead he settled for pushing his chair a little closer to the bed and beginning to softly stroke her hair with one hand, resting the other on the bed by her arm. He was surprised when a few minutes later, Sara reached out, tentatively grazing his fingers with her own, before entwining her fingers with his.

"Thank you," she whispered hoarsely, looking up at him briefly. Nick squeezed her hand once and mustered a smile.

"Anything for you Sar."

Sara once again became lost in her own head, staring past Nick, to the window behind him. It scared him that she could go so easily from talking one minute, to escaping inside of her own head the next. He wanted the doctor to hurry up and discharge her, so that he could get her out of there.

Nick got his wish fifteen minutes later; fifteen long minutes of watching Sara close herself off again. He couldn't do anything but rub the knuckles of the hand that was clinging to his, and brush the occasional stray piece of hair away from her eyes.

The doctor was brief, making a few notes and looking Sara over once more before telling Nick that the nurse would be in shortly. He was handed several papers, including prescriptions for a painkiller, a sedative, and her discharge care instructions. It wasn't until he shuffled through all of the papers, that he realized Sara was still lying in the hospital bed, staring at the window.

He leaned forward, grasping her hand again. "Sweetheart, as soon as you get dressed, I can take you home. I can wait outside, unless you need some help?" Nick wasn't completely sure that the offer wasn't awkward, but he figured it would probably be one of many moments over the course of the next few days.

His query seemed to get Sara's attention, and she shook her head. Nick stood up, releasing her hand after one last squeeze. He made his way to the doorway, but didn't fully exit until he was sure Sara was in fact going to get up. When he saw her reach for the bag of clothes that Catherine had brought her, he closed the door gently behind him.

He was pacing in front of the doorway, debating whether or not to knock, when the door suddenly opened in front of him. He watched Sara hobble somewhat awkwardly back to the bed, sitting on the edge to fold the hospital gown. She almost looked normal, in the jeans and tee shirt that Catherine had dropped off, if only Nick could ignore the bruises, and the fact that she had only one sneaker on.

He must have been staring, because Sara softly explained, "My ankle is too swollen for the shoe to go over it."

"We'll get some ice for that when we get back to your place. We just have to stop at the pharmacy to fill your prescriptions."

As Sara dropped the extra sneaker into the bag, the nurse entered the room, wheelchair in tow. "You ready to go hun?" she asked with a smile.

Sara nodded and sunk into the chair, clutching the bag in her lap.

"You're going to have to stay off of that ankle for a few days now. Apply ice in twenty minute increments for the swelling, and once you have full ankle motion, you can start applying heat. There's a few other things we need to go over…" The nurse shot a look at Nick. "Maybe you want to go get the car?" she asked politely.

Nick took the hint. "Yeah, I'll pull around by the revolving doors…I'll meet you there in a few minutes."

The door shut behind him as Nick made the long trek to the hospital's parking structure. It was going to be a long night, that he was sure of.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: see first chapter

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After a stop to the nearest all night pharmacy, where Nick and Sara spent twenty quiet minutes waiting in the dingy plastic chairs next to the counter, Nick finally pulled into the nearest parking space outside of Sara's apartment complex.

"Thank you Nick," she whispered quietly, "I think I'm just gonna go to bed."

Nick reached for the bag from the pharmacy he had thrown on the back seat. "Alright, we'll go upstairs and get settled…I should have asked if you were hungry, maybe we should have stopped and picked something up…"

Sara sighed. "I'm not hungry, and you can just drop me off."

Nick turned towards her, an incredulous look on his face. "You don't seriously think I'm leaving you alone tonight?"

"Nick, you don't have to stay…if I need something, I can call Greg or someone…" She turned her head towards the passenger window.

Nick tried really hard, but he couldn't help but feel like he'd been punched in the gut. He took a deep, shaky breath, using the time to convince himself that this wasn't about how he felt, but how comfortable Sara needed to feel. And if she needed Greg, then he would call Greg.

"If you'd feel better with Greg here, I'll call him, but I'm going to stay with you until he shows up." Nick winced as he realized he could have said that in a better way. Sara unbuckled her seat belt, but made no move to open her door. Instead, she sat completely still in the passenger seat, staring out the windshield up at her apartment building.

"We said…after…we're not supposed to worry you," she offered quietly, still staring straight ahead. Nick let out a deep breath and reached over to slowly grasp her hand. Now he understood what had been going on. Part of Sara keeping him in the dark had to do with preserving her own privacy, but another part of it had been her trying to protect him. He felt a little choked up as he realized that she had even been able to think about that.

"Sweetheart, like it or not, I'm gonna worry about you no matter what."

"I'll be okay," she protested. Nick wasn't sure whether or not Sara even believed that, because he sure as hell didn't; at least not for the night.

Nick realized that using guilt probably wasn't the best idea, but he didn't think either of them had the strength to argue about this, so he went for it. "I'll worry a lot more if I don't know what's going on with you."

A tear trickled down her face as she nodded. Nick grabbed her bags and made his way around the car to open her door. With a little help, Sara was able to make it to her door, and she waited as Nick fumbled with her keys to unlock the door.

When Nick finally got the door opened, Sara hobbled back towards her bedroom. Nick made a mental note to grab a pair of crutches from his house the next day; there was no way that Sara was going to stay off of that ankle as long as she should.

Nick was in the kitchen, searching through the contents of Sara's cupboards, when he heard the shower start to run. He found a can of tomato soup hiding between boxes of spaghetti noodles and decided that was better than nothing. Rummaging around in another cupboard, he found a saucepan and poured the soup in, putting the stove on low. Another burner contained Sara's tea kettle, and Nick refilled it with fresh water before lining up the various prescription bottles on the counter.

He finally sunk down onto the couch in the living room, trying to gather all of his thoughts and strength. Up until this point, he had been able to operate on autopilot; there had been so much to do, that he had been able to act without thinking too far ahead, but all he had to do now was sit and wait. Wait for her to fall apart, to fall asleep, wait for what he wasn't exactly sure was going to happen, and that worried him. Waiting at the hospital had been different, he had procedures to follow, had to get her home. He wasn't naïve enough to believe that Sara would be able to just go to bed after the night she had been through, and he wasn't sure what to do once she got out of the shower. With a sigh, he finally realized he would try to get her to eat, and go from there.

The sound of the tea kettle whistling brought Nick out of his thoughts. He jumped up from the couch and into the kitchen, turning the burners off. He poured the soup into two mugs, something his mom used to do when he was little, and pulled out two more mugs for tea. Rummaging around in another cabinet, he found half a box of saltine crackers and tucked them under his arm as he carried to the mugs of soup out to the coffee table.

Fifteen minutes went by, and Sara still had not emerged from the bathroom. The water was still running, and after another ten minutes the soup had gotten cold and Nick was seriously considering going to check on her. What if she had gone into shock, or she had slipped on her bad ankle? Thoughts of Sara slipping and hitting her head assaulted his mind, and he was about to stand up, when the water finally stopped. Five minutes later, she emerged from the bathroom, clad in a tank top and pajama bottoms, toweling her hair. Nick couldn't help but notice the angry, red color of the skin that he could see, and leaned his head back against the couch and sighed as he realized she had probably scrubbed herself nearly raw.

When he felt her sink onto the couch, he opened his eyes, seeing that she had grabbed a sweatshirt, hiding most of her skin from his view.

"I made some soup, but it's a little cold now. I'll go warm it up."

"I'm not hungry," she answered quietly, but Nick was insistent.

"You should eat something. Just a little bit. Besides, it says those painkillers shouldn't be taken on an empty stomach."

Nick microwaved the tea, and then the soup before bringing it back out to Sara. They sat in silence while Sara finished about half of the soup, and two crackers. Nick quickly drained his cup and watched as she placed hers back on the table. He figured it was enough for now, and quickly cleared the cups away. When he returned, she had drawn her knees to her chest and was cradling the cup of tea in her hands. She gave him a curious look as he held out a handful of pills.

"What are you giving me?" she asked suspiciously.

"Just what the doctor prescribed. There's some ibuprofen, and something to help you sleep."

A look of fear flashed through her eyes. "I don't want the sedative," she protested.

Nick knew she wasn't going to sleep without it, but he wasn't going to force pills down her throat either. "Fine. I'll set it here if you want it," he compromised, setting the pill on the table in front of her. If the ibuprofen isn't strong enough, there's some Vicodin too, but try these first. You want to lie down, and elevate that ankle for awhile? I'll get some ice."

Sara nodded. "Yeah, but I think I want to lie down in my room."

Nick grabbed a towel from her hall closet and then headed to the kitchen to fill a plastic zip bag with ice from her freezer. He was pleased to pass by the coffee table and notice that the pill was no longer resting there. By the time he stood in the doorway of her bedroom, Sara had hobbled to her room and was settled somewhat awkwardly with her ankle propped up on a pillow.

Nick adjusted the pillow under her ankle so that it was a little more even, and then perched tentatively on the edge of her bed. He placed the ice pack on her ankle, surprised when Sara flinched.

"I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" he asked in concern, his drawl thickening.

"No, it's just a little cold. But it's fine, really Nick."

Sara sighed and directed her gaze towards the ceiling, watching the fan steadily spin. Nick wasn't exactly sure what to do, so he watched her staring off until her eyelids started to droop as the sedative kicked in. When he thought she was finally asleep, he pulled a blanket over her form, removing the ice pack from her ankle first. He leaned over, brushing a brief kiss against her forehead, and tucked the blanket in around her.

"Nick…don't go," she murmured, still half asleep as he rose from the bed. Her eyes opened, and Nick could see the fear hiding behind drowsiness.

"I won't go anywhere," Nick promised softly, moving up the bed to lean against the headboard. He kicked off his shoes and stretched his legs out in front of him, before reaching his arm around Sara's shoulder. When she flinched again, but tried to get comfortable with his arm around her, he thought better of it, and reached for her hand instead.

As she slowly drifted back to sleep, Nick couldn't help but wonder what the hell had happened to her.

* * *

A/N: It might be a few days before the next chapter. I need a bit of a break from the angst, so I'm going to go back to the challenge that Julie issued a couple weeks ago. And thank you so much to everyone who is reviewing this story! You guys rock :) 


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: see first chapter

A/N: Apparently my mojo decided that Cleveland weather sucks, and has been hiding in my bed for the past week or so, more content to rewatch "Gum Drops," than actually give me any inspiration for writing anything. Even the naked George Claire offered couldn't draw her out. I've tried on several occasions to work on this chapter, as well as a post ep for "Gum Drops" (which rocked my socks, btw), but I haven't really been happy with anything I've put down on paper lately. Hopefully nowshe's well rested, and ready to get back to work. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Nick heard a noise infiltrate his barely wakeful consciousness, and he slowly opened his eyes, trying to acclimate himself. The last thing he remembered was watching Sara fitfully sleeping, grasping onto his hand for dear life. A million different emotions were warring within him; battling it out for top billing were probably anger for what had happened to her, confusion as to what had actually happened, and an overwhelming desire to protect her at all costs. He hadn't wanted to take his eyes off of her for even a second, but eventually he just couldn't keep them open any longer.

As he checked his watch, he realized that he'd been out for about two hours. His eyes turned towards Sara, and he realized with a heavy heart, the noise that had awoken him was Sara's quiet whimpering in her sleep. He brought their entwined hands up to his lips, kissing the knuckles gently before rubbing circles over them with his thumb. He hoped that whatever nightmare was plaguing her would be forgotten by the time she woke up.

Unfortunately, her whimpering became louder and more frequent, and the look on her face more terrified as time went on. Nick became increasingly worried as she began to tremble, mumbling, "Please, no." Her voice sounded so small and frightened that Nick could feel himself tearing up. It became her mantra as she tried to yank her hand out of Nick's.

He released her hand, a tear slipping down his cheek as he placed a hand on her shoulder and shook gently. "Sara," he called softly, trying to wake her from her nightmare. When he received no response, he shook a little more firmly. "Sara, it's just a dream."

The third time he called her name, Sara's eyes shot open, and a loud gasp poured from her lips. Her chest heaved as tears poured from her eyes, desperately gasping for air.

"Hey, hey, you're okay. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. You're safe," Nick murmured, stroking her shoulder reassuringly, as sweat trickled from her hairline down the side of her face.

"Nick?" she whispered, finally becoming aware of her surroundings again.

"I'm right here sweetheart. You're safe," Nick repeated softly.

Sara visibly relaxed, closing her eyes until her breathing returned to normal. Nick continued rubbing her shoulder until he saw that she was calm again.

"I'm gonna go get you a glass of water, I'll be right back," Nick whispered, planting one leg carefully on the floor.

"No, Nick, don't leave me." Her voice was panicked as her hand slid back into his. Fear flashed in her eyes, already brimming with tears.

"Hey, it's okay. I won't go anywhere." Nick was surprised when she scooted closer to him on the bed. Instinctively, he wrapped his arm around her slight frame, and for the first time, she didn't recoil.

"I…I didn't mean for it to happen…"

"It's okay Sara." Nick wasn't sure how many times he would have to say that before someone started to believe it; so far, it wasn't working. "This isn't your fault." Nick could feel himself angering at the thought that Sara was going to spend a significant amount of time, if not the rest of her life, blaming herself for what had happened.

"I couldn't let it happen again. I just…" Sara whispered so softly that Nick almost didn't hear her. Almost. He felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. In the back of his mind, Nick had always suspected there was something in Sara's past that had caused her outrage for sexual assault or domestic violence cases, but he had never wanted to dwell on the thought for too long.

Sara's eyes widened as she realized she had said that out loud. Nick chose not to say anything, and let her decide whether or not she wanted to finish; as much as he wanted to understand, he wasn't going to be the person to push her to do something she didn't want to, or wasn't ready to do. Instead, he pulled her closer, relieved when she didn't flinch, but rather curled up against his side. Tears shone in her eyes as Nick reached over with his free hand to stroke her hair; it had seemed to calm her before, he only hoped it would work again.

"I was fourteen…he, he was captain of the baseball team. Asked me to Homecoming, first dance I'd ever gone to." She laughed bitterly, a chilling sound to Nick's ears. "He was supposed to drive me home, but he pulled over instead. I screamed, but no one heard me, or they didn't care I guess." It took a few moments for her to choke out the rest. "So I just closed my eyes, prayed for it to be over. He went to get drunk with his friends afterwards, left me to walk home, torn dress and all. It was a nice dress, too." There was a far away look in her eyes as she cast her eyes downward, sniffling a little as her free fingers toyed with the tie to her hooded sweatshirt.

It explained so much to Nick; her rage at certain cases, the way she empathized with victims, and especially her loathing for the athletic, frat boy types that they had encountered over the years.

"Oh Sara," Nick whispered roughly, not exactly sure how to respond. He understood, more than she knew, the long term effects of sexual abuse, but he couldn't imagine ever having to go through two separate experiences like Sara had.

"I just couldn't go through that again…I couldn't be that scared girl that just laid there in the backseat, trying to dissociate from her body. But I just wanted to get him off of me…I didn't mean to…"

"Sweetheart, it wasn't your fault." It wasn't much, but that and holding her close were all Nick had to offer. Besides, he knew that she needed to hear it, even if it wouldn't register right away.

Tears streamed down her face as she clung to his side, sniffling at random intervals. Nick figured anything he tried to say would either sound cliché, or make things worse, so he continued to stroke her hair as her tears soaked his shirt.

He was surprised to hear her voice a few minutes later. "He seemed like a nice guy, you know? We went out a couple times…I trusted him."

Nick understood the unspoken implications of Sara's revelation; her trust was not something won so easily, especially after Hank's betrayal, and Grissom's emotional tug of war with her feelings. He wondered if it would become a nonexistent commodity after this.

"I'd been to his house before, we went back there to watch a movie. Yeah, I know, the movie was the last thing on his mind." Sara sniffled again. "And I went along with it for awhile, and then we ended up in his bedroom…" Sara trailed off, pausing to regain control of her voice. "When I realized how fast we were going, I told him that we needed to stop. That's when things changed, he wouldn't stop…wouldn't let go. He wasn't even the same guy anymore…"

The faraway, almost glassy look, returned to Sara's eyes, and Nick was sure that his palm had indentations from Sara's short fingernails. Her breathing was ragged, and Nick felt another piece of his heart breaking.

"Nick?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah?" Nick hoped she didn't hear the slight crack in his voice.

"How much did they tell you?" Nick must have looked confused, because she clarified. "About what happened."

Nick let out a deep sigh. "Not much."

A fearful look crossed her face, and Sara took a deep breath. Nick knew what she was thinking, and stopped her quickly.

"Sweetheart, you don't have to tell me anything you're not ready for, okay? I'm not going anywhere, and if you want to talk about it, I'll listen. But only when you're ready." Nick punctuated his statement with a squeeze of her hand.

Sara let out a sigh and nodded, closing her eyes as a few tears leaked down her face. Her voice was a little shaky when she spoke. "You should know though, that he didn't…he didn't get a chance to."

This time it was Nick to let out a deep sigh, relieved to hear even the smallest shred of good news. Despite what he had told Catherine, he couldn't help but feel relieved that Trelling hadn't been able to obtain what he had gone after. From everything he had observed, everything that Catherine had discovered in the bedroom, it had become a forgone conclusion in Nick's mind. Nick had never been so happy to be wrong before. Still, he knew that things had gone pretty far, and there was more to the story than Sara could tell him then. How much more, he wasn't sure, but Nick was willing to wait patiently for her to be able to talk about it. Until then, he would make sure she knew that he wouldn't let anything else happen to her.

Nick reached over, brushing a few tears from her cheeks. "He can't hurt you again, Sara," he whispered, before he realized that the sedative had knocked her out again. This time, he hoped they'd make it through without anymore nightmares.

* * *

A/N: Yeah, it's angsty, that appears to be what I'm feeling right now. Hope it's not too much for one chapter, but with the tone of this story, there's not going to be too much, if any fluff that will be appropriate. I'm slowly getting back into the groove for this story, hopefully the next chapter will be up soon! 


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: see first chapter

A/N: I got a little bit sidetracked from this story, but I'm going to do my best to update this on a fairly regular basis, as well as post a few of the one shots that have been floating about, and now Julie's Christmas Challenge. I'm also still working on a sequel to "Disappearing Filter Phenomenon." Lofty goals, but I'm going to try all the same. Work will be crazy until Christmas, and writing is my only salvation (well that, and curling up with a comforter, my CSI dvds, and my Harry Potter books). Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Nick awoke several hours later to the sound of his phone ringing. He glanced over, finding Sara still asleep, feeling her curled up against his side. It took him a moment to find his phone, which had fallen onto the floor while he was asleep.

"Stokes," he answered, debating whether or not to try and extricate himself from the bed, and risk waking Sara, or risk waking her while on the phone. He tried to roll away gently, but changed his mind when Sara's hand gripped his. She must have reached for it in her sleep, and she wasn't going to let go. Instead, Nick turned his head so that he wasn't speaking directly into Sara's ear.

"Hey Nicky, how's she doing?" Catherine's voice was full of concern, and Nick immediately felt guilty for not calling her sooner. While he had been busy trying to get Sara settled in, he had forgotten that everyone else was in the dark about how Sara was doing.

Nick sighed. "I got her home, made her some soup. She's asleep now…maybe a couple hours? I'm not sure…Cath, she's…I don't know…" Nick trailed off, unable to tell Catherine how Sara was really doing; he wasn't even sure himself.

"How are you holding up? I'll come over…"

"No, we're fine," Nick interrupted. He wasn't sure how much longer Sara was going to be able to sleep, and what kind of state she'd be in when she woke up.

Catherine seemed doubtful. "Nick?"

"Yeah, she's still asleep, there's nothing you can do right now."

Catherine paused, but it seemed she wouldn't fight him on it for the moment. "I think Detective Reynolds is gonna ask you to bring her down sometime today…"

Nick was trying not to sound too alarmed, but it didn't work very well. "Cath…"

"Nick, everything's going to be fine…even Ecklie's being a human being for once. It's just…there have been some developments, and Reynolds has a few more questions for her."

Nick took a deep breath, and glanced over at Sara again to make sure she was still sleeping. "What kind of developments?"

Catherine sighed. "I'm not going to get into it over the phone. But there aren't going to be any charges or anything to worry about…everything so far has supported what she's told us. There are just some loose ends to tie up."

"Are you sure?"

"Nicky, I'm sure. Look, I've got a few things to take care of here, and then I'll head over to check on you guys."

"Cath, I don't know how much longer she's gonna sleep…why don't I just give you a call when she's awake?"

"You sure you're okay until then? How are you holding up?" Catherine's voice radiated concern for both Sara and Nick, something that wasn't lost on Nick.

His voice was thick. "I've got it under control. I'll call you later."

Nick sighed and threw his phone back onto the floor before turning his attention back to Sara. Her brow was furrowed, and she was clinging to his hand, but she was still asleep, curled up on her side with her head resting against his arm, and she hadn't been woken by any more nightmares. Nick knew that was all he could ask for at that point.

He wasn't entirely sure that Catherine was telling him the truth, but he figured there was nothing he could do until Sara woke up, and he could see what was going on. Until then, he would just watch her sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: see first chapter

A/N: Sorry it's taking so long to get this story out, life has been kind of hectic. I have it mostly mapped out, at least through the next couple chapters, and it seems like work is going to calm down for awhile, so hopefully that means I'll have more time to write/post. Thanks to all of you that are sticking with me through this, I'm really going to try to post more regularly.

* * *

The next time that Nick woke up, he felt the void next to him in bed. When he opened his eyes, he realized that Sara was no longer there. He didn't want to panic if she had only gotten up to go to the bathroom, but when ten minutes passed and she still hadn't returned, Nick got up to find her.

Sara was leaning against the bar counter inside of her kitchen, stirring a bowl of some kind of batter rather forcefully. Nick wondered what on earth she could be making; he had gone through her cupboards the night before, and he hadn't found enough of anything to make anything resembling food.

"Hey," he called softly, walking up to the counter and resting his forearms near the bowl.

Her eyes darted up to his briefly, and the red rims gave her away immediately. Her face was still pale, except for the still present tear tracks running from her eyes down her cheeks. Nick smacked himself mentally for sleeping through both her waking up and her apparent breakdown.

Sara made no move to answer him, merely stirring the batter with slightly greater force. When Nick realized she wasn't going to talk, he decided to pick up the slack. He wasn't quite sure what her mood was, and he figured getting her to talk would give him a better idea. "Whatcha makin?"

"Chocolate chip pancakes," she answered dully, stirring one last time before turning towards the stove.

"You want me to do that? That air cast doesn't look too comfortable." The glare on her face when she turned around, and the hiss from the batter hitting the ready pan assured him that she didn't.

On her best days, Sara's mood could change in seconds, so Nick was expecting her to be a jumble of emotions, but he still wasn't exactly sure when her mood had changed. At least he knew how to handle it; an angry Sara needed space until she was ready to talk about things.

"Then, do you mind if I grab a shower?"

"Extra towels are in the linen closet." Her voice was quiet, as if it hurt her to speak any louder. Nick fought the urge to walk into the kitchen and hug her, knowing it would sabotage any future chances of getting her to open up, and instead grabbed his keys so he could run out to his rig. Nick was glad that in his line of work, he had learned to keep a spare bag in his Denali with extra clothes, along with essentials like a razor and toothbrush.

A half hour later, he emerged from Sara's bathroom, changed, showered, and shaved. Sara was sitting on the couch, pushing pieces of pancake around her plate. A second plate sat on the coffee table next to her, along with a glass of orange juice, a fork, and the bottle of syrup.

Nick settled somewhat tentatively next to her, grabbing the plate and syrup. After drowning the plate in golden syrup, he proceeded to inhale most of the pancakes before Sara even took another bite.

He watched her stare at her plate and stab at random pieces, pushing them around but never picking them up. When he finished off his orange juice, and Sara still hadn't taken another bite, Nick took a deep breath. "Sara, you've got to eat something." He knew she probably made the pancakes more for the distraction than for the actual intent to eat them, but Nick was going to make it clear that he wasn't going to let her waste away.

Sara met his gaze long enough to glare, but took a few small bites before setting the plate back on the table. She couldn't possibly be full between that, and the near ounce of soup she had had last night, but he wasn't going to push it. He'd just make sure that she ate something proper for lunch.

"Detective Reynolds wants me to come in." Nick was surprised to hear her voice, and turned towards her, setting his plate on the table on top of hers. "He called while you were in the shower. Catherine too. Anyways, he said he had some more questions." She tried to appear unfazed by the detective's request, but Nick could see the anxiety hiding behind her brave front.

"Sar, it's okay. You didn't do anything wrong, and they know that…there aren't going to be any charges."

Sara suddenly turned her gaze forward. "Well, we should probably head down there now, before shift. He said he'd wait for me." Sara pushed herself up off the couch and hobbled towards her bedroom to get ready.

Nick sighed in frustration, rubbing the back of his neck before gathering up the plates and dropping them into the sink, scraping the remnants of Sara's pancakes into the garbage disposal. He'd let Grissom break the news to Sara that she wasn't just going back to work, like nothing happened.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: see first chapter

A/N: Contrary to popular belief, I have not abandoned this story. I'll admit, I have kind of lost sight of where I was originally going with it, but I've got at least two more chapters planned out in my head, and I'm hoping that things take off from there; besides, most of my stories end up in a different place then where I originally planned when I first set out to write them. I appreciate everyone who has read/reviewed this story, and I apologize for the long wait between chapters!

* * *

Sara refused to let Nick help her down to the car, so he had to settle for walking behind her, close enough so that he hoped he could stop her if she started to tumble forward. She had donned a hooded sweatshirt that came up high enough to conceal most of the bruising around her neck, trying to look as normal as possible. It was mostly in vain; one look at her face erased any doubt that anything had happened, the dark bruising around her eye and cheek more evident than the night before.

Once they made it to the car, Sara shoved her sunglasses on and leaned her head slightly forward, so that her hair hid most of her face. The drive to the lab was punctuated only by the music filtering in from Nick's radio, tuned to the local country station. Usually Sara would mock him or change the channel herself, but this time she kept her gaze low and directed outside the passenger window.

By the time they arrived, Sara had worked her nerves up pretty well, hobbling down the hallway of the Las Vegas Police Department with her arms wrapped around herself protectively. Nick tried to shield her from most of the offices, walking on the side most visible to the bullpen and resting his hand on her back. Luckily, it seemed like most of the dayshift was either out on assignment or in a meeting, and Nick was able to deter the few stares they did receive with a scathing look. There was no question that news of what had happened had already spread through both the department and the lab, but Nick was going to make sure that no one around him was caught spreading idle gossip.

Detective Reynolds was waiting for them at his desk, and quickly ushered the pair into Brass's office.

"There's no need for an interrogation room, and this way we'll have a little more privacy," Reynolds offered as an explanation as Sara settled herself awkwardly into one of the chairs in front of Brass's desk.

Nick glanced over at the chair next to Sara, and then over to her, remembering her asking him to leave the hospital room the previous night. "Do you want me to wait outside?" He searched her eyes, his voice low and somewhat awkward. Nick wasn't inclined to leave her alone, but if she didn't want him there, he couldn't really argue.

Sara shook her head, her eyes anxious. Nick sighed and dropped down into the chair next to her, turning to face Detective Reynolds, who was perched somewhat precariously on the edge of the desk.

"Now Ms. Sidle, first off, I want to let you know that no charges are going to be filed. We've determined that Vincent Trelling's death was the result of self defense on your part."

Nick let out a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding as he glanced over at Sara. She sat composed, her expression unreadable. In fact, her face hadn't registered any emotion, except when Reynolds used the name, where she momentarily froze.

"That's not what you brought me down here to tell me," she replied quietly after the news sunk in.

"No ma'am, you're right. During the course of the investigation, several things came to light about Mr. Trelling…"

Nick's ears perked up immediately. This had to be the development that Catherine had alluded to in their earlier conversation. "What kind of things? What does this have to do with Sara?" Detective Reynolds shot Nick a glare, a glare that Sara seemed to catch.

"What kind of things? And what does it have to do with me?" Sara repeated, a slight edge to her voice. Nick wasn't sure whether to be concerned or to smirk at Sara's response.

Detective Reynolds took a deep breath, and it was just then that Nick realized how stressed the man appeared. His clothes appeared rumpled and vaguely like the ones Nick noticed him wearing the night before. His thinning hair was disheveled, and his face flushed. "Now I know we went over some of this stuff last night Ms. Sidle, but I'm going to ask you some questions about Vincent. How did you two meet?"

"We met at Starbucks…we started talking, he bought me coffee. Told me that he had moved to Vegas when his firm was hired to promote the opening of one of the new casinos, and he invited me to the opening."

"How long ago was that?"

Sara sighed. "About a month, I guess. We went out a couple times, mostly my nights off."

"Had you ever been to his home before last night?"

Sara nodded, her fingers playing with the frayed cuffs on the sleeve of her sweatshirt. "Once, he forgot his wallet, so we stopped on the way to dinner, and then, uh, the last time we went out, we ended up back there…"

Reynolds fingers curled around the edge of Brass's desk. "How serious were things between the two of you?"

Nick had had enough of this. "Look Reynolds, what are you trying to get at? None of this matters; how long she knew him, how serious things were. As soon as she said no, he should have stopped. That matters, and that's it."

"I'm not saying…"

Nick cut him off. It had been a very long, emotional night, and Nick wanted to yell at someone. Since he couldn't, and wouldn't, yell at Sara and Vincent Trelling was currently unavailable to beat into a bloody pulp, Nick settled for the closest person to vent out his frustration. "I really don't see how any of this is relevant to anything. It was self defense, and none of these questions are things you haven't already asked her, or something that you couldn't have stopped by and asked. But no, you drag her down here instead. Now, unless this starts getting relevant, I'm taking her home…she doesn't need this."

Nick started to stand, but stopped when he felt Sara's hand grasp at his forearm. "Nick, it's okay."

"I know you're both frustrated, and upset, but I promise that there is a point to all of this. I've got a few more questions, and if you can't handle that Stokes, I suggest you wait outside." Reynolds voice was firm as he gestured towards the door. Nick glanced over at Sara, seeing the anxiety in her eyes, and he immediately felt bad for making the situation worse. Though he would hold Reynolds to just a few more questions.

"Just get to the point," he muttered, settling himself back into the chair.

"Alright Ms. Sidle…I know we did talk about it a little last night, but how serious were things between you two?"

Sara shrugged. "We were dating…I wasn't seeing anyone else, and I don't think he was either, but I guess that doesn't mean he wasn't…wouldn't be the first time I was wrong about something like that." She twisted her hands nervously in her lap as the two men gazed at her with concern. Nick hoped that Reynolds would get to the point soon; he wasn't sure how much more of this Sara could endure that afternoon.

Detective Reynolds took a deep breath and shot a warning glance in Nick's direction before his next question. "Was he ever violent?"

Nick waited for Sara to say no and for Detective Reynolds to move on to his next question, but when that answer didn't come, Nick's head turned towards Sara. Her eyes were darting around the room, never focusing on anything for more than a few seconds as her fingers buried themselves inside the sleeves of her sweatshirt.

"Sara…" Nick's head turned at the sound of his voice, but her eyes refused to meet his. "Did he ever lay a hand on you? Sara?" Nick could feel his anger returning as he imagined Trelling raising a hand to her, or worse.

"No, nothing like that, at least before last night." Sara paused briefly as a stray tear escaped, obviously reliving a bit of what had happened. She wiped it away hastily and continued. "But he had a temper…yelling at waitresses and valets, road rage…that kind of thing. I was starting to think that he might…but I still didn't break it off…"

"Ms. Sidle, from what we've gathered, he was quite the charmer. He knew the right things to say, the right gestures."

"I should have known better," she whispered harshly, pulling her arms closer around her. "And I think Nick was right…what the hell does any of this have to do with me?" Nick could tell that Sara was getting frustrated, and that if Reynolds didn't get to his point, and quickly, she would either storm out or shut down on both of them completely. He resisted the urge to reach out and take her hand or rub her arm, knowing she wouldn't take the gesture well at the moment.

Reynolds sighed, adjusting his tie before he answered. "During the course of the investigation, we discovered that Vincent Trelling was not in fact Vincent Trelling, but Ryan Woodward. And this wasn't the first time he attacked someone…but you seem to be the only woman that lived to tell us what happened."


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: see first chapter

A/N: Alright, I won't be promising anymore timely updates on this one, b/c my muse seems to take those promises as an invitation to go on extended vacations when it comes to this story. I apologize for the wait for those of you still following this story, and I will say that I am working on the next chapter as we speak, er, as I type.

* * *

The ride back to Sara's apartment was silent, not even noise from the radio to drown out the thoughts in their heads. Sara had pretty much shut down after Detective Reynolds's revelation. She had sat mutely as Reynolds explained that they had matched Ryan Woodward's DNA to two open rape and murder cases, and Nick could tell she wasn't absorbing much of the information. He had his own questions, starting with why exactly they ran his DNA through CODIS, but Sara definitely wasn't in any state for prolonged conversation. She didn't fight Nick as he guided her back through the hallway and out to the parking lot, she just climbed wearily into the passenger seat. 

Her hands were folded in her lap, twisting as one of her thumbs starting picking at the cuticles of her nails. Nick observed this for several minutes before he reached over and grasped at one of her hands, effectively stopping it. She didn't seem to relax much, but at least she stopped pulling at her cuticles. He released her hand once they made it back to her apartment complex, and Nick barely had the car in park before Sara darted out as fast as she could and hobbled up to her apartment.

Nick followed a safe distance behind, finding her sitting on the edge of her bed, head buried in her hands and shaking with sobs. Nick couldn't help but think back to the night before, when he discovered Sara in the same position on Trelling's, no, Ryan Woodward's bed, and he exhaled shakily. Trying to clear that image from his head, he gingerly sat down next to her and began to rub her back. It was then that he realized she wasn't crying. It was some kind of twisted laughter that sent a cold shiver down Nick's spine.

Nick had heard Sara laugh, even giggle before; at something Greg did, and even better, sometimes at something he said. It was one of the sounds he truly enjoyed, and he was sad to admit that it wasn't something he got to hear very often. But this was nothing like that; this was bitter, and chilled, and a sound Nick hoped to everything he believed in that he would never have to hear again.

His hand stilled on her back, and he had no idea what to do. He had been prepared for an emotional Sara; he was expecting crying, yelling, or even her stubborn insistence that she was fine, but this was something that Nick had never expected.

Sara turned her head in her hands, allowing Nick to see the hollow, haunted look in her eyes. "I have, without a doubt, the absolute worst taste in men." There was that awful sound as she began to laugh again.

"Sara…"

She sat up, the force from her sudden movement flinging Nick's arm to rest on the bed behind her. "First there was Grissom…emotionally closed off, a complete chicken when it came to his feelings, and my direct supervisor. Then there was Hank…had no problem admitting his attraction to me, but he couldn't admit that he was using me to cheat on the woman he really loved." Sara ticked off each man on her fingers matter-of-factly in a dangerously calm voice. "And now this…him…I started off with emotionally unavailable, and end up with completely immoral… I really know how to pick 'em…"

"Sara…" Nick paused for a moment, trying to find something that would help. He placed his hand on her shoulder while he searched for the words. "You can't blame…"

Apparently, it was the wrong thing to do. He felt Sara elbow him in the side as she finally snapped. "Nick, stop it! Stop trying to fix this…I'm not one of your damsels in distress Nick, you can't fix me!" Her words were filled with anger and her eyes filled with tears.

Sara's voice had risen several levels, and it was the most emotion Nick had seen her display since this whole nightmare had begun. Still, he felt the emotional sting of her words as she moved away from him on the bed and curled back into herself.

Nick tried to hold back his response, but he was tired, and frustrated. "What am I supposed to do Sara? What should I be doing? Because I have no clue here."

Nick watched as she stared back at him with wide eyes, and not willing to look at her right then, he started to pace the room, rubbing his face in frustration. He didn't mean to snap at her, and only an hour earlier he had sworn that he wouldn't have even been able to. The silence in the room was awful, until Nick heard her crying; that was definitely worse. He turned towards Sara, finding her staring at a spot in the corner and gripping the comforter on either side of her body, tears streaming down her cheeks. Nick could feel another piece of his heart breaking, and he wondered how stupid he had to be to think that he could help her. "It kills me that I can't make this go away for you. I just don't know what to do." He sighed. "I should call Catherine."

"Fine, if you don't want to be here, you can go Nick, but I don't need a damn babysitter," she spat back at him.

Things were quickly spiraling out of control. Sara turned her attention back to the wall, fiercely wiping at the tears still making tracks down her cheeks. Nick took a deep breath and dropped down onto the bed next to her, catching her hand before she could get up or push him away. "Sara, I don't want to leave, I just want to help. But I think I'm just making everything worse. Maybe Catherine would be the better person to be here. I don't want to make this any harder for you than it already is."

He squeezed her hand once and was surprised when she resisted his attempt to untangle his hand from hers. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, she was still crying, but it she seemed to have calmed down, allowing Nick to relax a little himself. He hated that he had let his emotions get the better of him, no matter how frustrated he was, he had no right to take it out on her, and he was about to let her know that when she began to speak softly.

"Everything in my head, I just don't know what to do with it…I do appreciate you being here Nick, and I know you're just trying to help…you are helping…but right now, I can't take all the hovering, I just need a friend, okay? And a little space."

Nick nodded in understanding. He wasn't willing to go too far, but he knew that she needed time to process everything that had happened, including Reynolds's earlier revelations about exactly what kind of character RyanWoodward was. Plus, he knew first hand how suffocating even well meaning friends could be, and he vowed not to let that happen to Sara. "I think I can do that. Why don't I run to my place and get some stuff, and stop at the store on the way back to grab some food? Promise not to go AWOL on me?" There was a hint of teasing to his voice, but Nick was serious; he didn't want Sara running off on her injured ankle if he left her alone for an hour, whether she needed space or not.

Sara smiled a bit, wiping the last of the tears away from her face. "I promise I won't make a run for it, but you really don't have to stay tonight Nick, I'll be okay…"

"I promise I'll keep the hovering to a minimum, but I want to stay." Sara looked at him doubtfully, so Nick decided to switch tactics. "You remember after the Nigel Crane fiasco? You had me at your apartment for a week, even when I said I'd be okay, because you wanted me to be sure…which meant you wanted to be sure I was okay. I'm just returning the favor."

Sara sighed. "I wish it was a favor that didn't have to be returned."

"It's not a favor I'd wish on anyone, but we can't change it, and I'd like to stay for awhile."

"What about work?"

"I don't think Grissom will have a problem giving me a couple days off, and I'm sorry sweetheart, but there's no way he's gonna let you come back to work for at least a week."

Nick had been expecting an argument from his last statement, and he was surprised when he didn't get one. When he looked over at Sara, she looked more tired than she had before; their argument must have taken whatever energy she had left. Nick felt another pang of guilt at snapping at her before he squeezed her hand again. "Do you want anything before I go? Pain medication? You should probably prop up that ankle and get some ice on it, even if you're not gonna lay down…I'm hovering, aren't I?"

Sara nodded. "But it's okay, I'm kinda tired. Don't know if I'll be able to sleep, but I'm gonna lay down."

Nick let her get settled while he went into the kitchen for some ice, water, and her bottle of pills. She was settled in bed with her foot propped up on some pillows when he returned, and accepted the bottle of water, chugging part of it and swallowing two ibuprofen while Nick applied the ice pack to her still swollen ankle.

"I'll be back in a little bit, but I'll have my cell, and if you need anything…"

"Nick…"

He smiled sheepishly. "Right, sorry…do you want anything in particular from the store?"

Sara shook her head as her eyes fell closed. Nick sat for a minute, watching her fall asleep before he finally dragged himself off of her bed. The sooner he left, the sooner he would be back. Nick had almost reached the door when he heard Sara's voice call out sleepily.

"Thanks…"

She didn't elaborate any further, but she didn't have to. They'd both gone through far too much together to need any further explanation, even if she could offer one.

He smiled back at her as she fought to keep her eyes open. "Anything for you, Sar."


End file.
